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Follow up – Step 6 (Your Leadership is Just Beginning)

April 29, 2010 By Leave a Comment

When I read this chapter I thought of the many times that managers give the annual Performance Review where they work with the employee to set up an action plan.  At the time, the plan is important and both manager and employee agree to the action steps.  What happens next?  The employee walks out of the office and goes back to his/her normal routine and the Manager moves on as well. Both with the thought that the “mandatory” review process is over.

What happened to the follow-up and follow through?  Lost to the everyday routines.  Rock’s model for this step in the process is:

FEELINGS – Facts, Emotions, Encourage, Learning, Implications, New , Goal.

These steps are all logical so why don’t we do them?  I can only say we all know better and shame on the manger or leader that doesn’t follow-up and follow through.

I have provided you a very brief description of each of the 6 steps that David Rock provided in his book “Quiet Leadership, Six Steps to Transforming Performance at Work” I would encourage you to buy the book and read for yourself how you can put these steps into action for yourself.

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Step 5 – Create New Thinking

April 27, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Let me start this out with a quote ” What we think, we become”  Buddha.   In Quiet Leadership there are many models to help people to not only grasp the concepts but to also provide them with a visual so that concepts are readily recognized by the brain.  In Step 5 – Create New Thinking, the model is CREATE.

CR - current reality -  What is the mindset currently?  What is their reality?

EA - Explore Alternatives – this is where people have discovered that there may be another way.  A way that they did not think of before and they are seeking alternatives

TE - Tap their Energy – the Four Faces of Insight are demonstrated with this step.  Here is where the “aha” moments come into place.  Where they are seeing things differently and are ready to test the waters of their thoughts.   It is at this time when the enthusiasm can become depleted quickly if there is not the motivation, accountability, and support to assist the person and keep them engaged.

As leaders we are helping people to get out of their routine thinking and to look at the world with new eyes.   Mindfulness is a term used to describe the concept of being your own observer, as unattached and open to what is really happening without preconceived judgments, biases, and other old thoughts interfering.  As a leader who is helping someone to perform a mindful act, we need to keep our own judgments, biases etc. out of the exchange.  Our job is to allow people to get their own insights and then allow them to make new mind maps  demonstrating that they are self-correcting.

The questions the leader asks at this time would be around the How and What format.   What would the task look like now that you identified…. or How can you go about completing the task without added pressure?”  Asking the right questions allows for self-discovery and insights.  Don’t be concerned if there is a moment or two of silence after you ask the questions.  Remember the Four Faces of Insight?  They are at play now!

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Dance Toward Insight – Step 4

April 23, 2010 By Leave a Comment

I often tell my students that “learning never stops and never stop learning”.  This is what step 4, Dance Toward Insight is all about.  There are basic elements that if used, can help people arrive at insights without you telling them what to do and as we know, when an idea comes from us we are more likely to have buy in.   If the conversations we are having with people are succinct, and with intent and we use the pattern of :  gaining permission, properly placing our words within the discussion and use clarifying statements to ensure the meaning is understood then the chance of having someone gain insight on their own is increased. 

As a leader you are responsible for leading people, but that does not mean that you are to do the thinking for them.  If you lead with intent then you will also be training or developing your followers to become better thinkers.  The Four Faces of Insight is a great way to observe what is happening to a person as you have a discussion with them. You can see what they are thinking  by their facial expressions.   David Rock states that he secured a grant so  he could study what was going on in the brain when he was coaching someone. During his research he found that people make similar facial expressions when they are in various states of mind.  These facial expressions are depicted in The Four Face of Insight.  As humans we are always trying to find commonalities or patterns.  When we are presented with a problem for example, our brains begin to look for a solution and this is done by looking for some awareness.

The facial expressions that you may see when you first present a problem to someone is a look of confusion or of being aware that a dilemma exists.  As the mind works to process this new information the face depicts a look of reflection or thought.  When the “aha” moment comes the facial expression is one o insight and illumination, think wide eyes and smiles perhaps with head nodding.  At this point the person will move into motivation which is smile and content look of eagerness at having solved a dilemma and reaching insight.

As a leader you want to see these four facial patterns depicted.  When you do you know you are asking the right questions and providing the right details for the person to “Dance Toward Insight”.

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Speak With Intent – Step 3

April 20, 2010 By Leave a Comment

The first two steps that David Rock states in his Book Quiet Leadership are 1) Think about Thinking and 2)  Listen for Potential.  The third step is Speak with Intent.  If you have read my previous two blog posts you know that each of these steps builds upon the other. Each step grooms the quiet leader to improve the performance of their people’s thinking.   If you have taken communication courses then you probably have heard that it is important to actively listen.  Active listeners are not thinking about what they want to say in response, but are truly tuned in to the person doing the talking.   When speaking with intent the key is being aware of your words so that the purpose of the discussion is understood.  Saying what you really mean in succinct form and wording.

Rock states that his observations over the year have concluded three core patterns that tend to derail conversations:

1.  people take longer than they need to state their ideas.  Their listeners tend to tune out because they have been listening for too long without being able to respond.

2.  people listening do not understand “exactly” what the speaker is saying, this results in the intention of the discussion being missed.

3.  the person speaking is using language and concepts that the listener can not grasp immediately and therefore the conversation becomes one of deciding word meaning rather than the issue at hand.

As speakers with intent we want to make sure that our conversations are focused, clear and succinct.  Remember more is not always better.  If we carry on for too long our listeners will wander off into their own thoughts and our message will be lost.   If we are shorter in our sentence structure we are also allowing our listeners to process smaller amounts of information rather than processing several concepts and ideas.  Remember that our working memory is limited!

A recommendation Rock provides for being more succinct in your conversations is to visualize what you want to say.  What metaphors can you use,  visual words that help the listener to be drawn into your words.  Doing this allows us to connect to our own mental maps and allows the listener to make their own mental maps.  The brain processes information visually at a faster rate so you are helping your listeners.

Be specific in what you say.  Say what is relevant in a relevant and succinct way.   “I would like to meet with you later.” is not specific.  Saying, ” I would like to meet at 3:00 to-day  to go over the agenda for next weeks meeting.” is.   When we are specific we are building trust as well. There is no need to wonder, no hidden agenda and the person knows exactly what to expect.

Finally Quiet Leaders are generous when they speak.  They focus on positive impact to the other person.  Choosing words carefully, be sensitive, acknowledging, being real and paying attention and providing full focus to the conversation.

Speaking with Intent takes time to develop but it can be done with awareness and practice.   Reflect on what you will be saying before you say it and consider your words.  Think about the conversations you will have and determine how you can be more succinct, specific and generous in what you say.

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Quiet Leaders Listen for Potential – Step 2

April 16, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Step Two – Listen for Potential (Quiet Leadership – David Rock)

This step is recognizing that people have their own agendas or filters that they view life through.  These may be based on their upbringing, their experiences, their education, etc.  Regardless we tend to give advice to others based on these filters.   We also need to recognize that perspective plays a big role in influencing thoughts.  David Rock provides an example of a young girl who is thinking about changing her career.   She is addressing friends and family who each have their own experiences, filters, perspectives and agendas.  So in this case the parents are looking at the problem as parents, the doctor from the view-point of health, the psychologist from his view etc.  The point being that no one thought to view the situation from the girl’s point of view.  They were not “Listening for Potential”.  They all made the assumption that she needed help or that she had a problem.

When we are listening to someone our brains are working at finding order.  Since we have memories we tend to predict what will happen next.  This predictive state involves our neurons sending signals alerting the brain in advance of actually receiving the data input.   When we receive the data it is compared to what we anticipated happening.  This is the primary function of the neocortex or our higher level thinking.  What this means in this example is that when we listen to people we listen in a manner that proves our existing theories about that person.

Let’s say you have an employee that you believe is a low performer based on an experience you had with that employee.  Going forward you will have predict the outcome of a conversation before it is even finished.  You are not listening for the potential in the conversation, but you are allowing your predictive mind to guide your thoughts.

When you change or become aware of your own listening habits you can make the shift to listen for potential in that person believing that the person has the capability to answer their own questions.  As a Quiet Leader you are developing a better to listen, one that encourages, supports and see the best in people.

When I was reading this chapter I thought a lot about how we treat little children.  As they grow and develop we don’t solve every problem for them.  We support their intellectual growth by allowing them to experiment and come up with solutions on their own.  A child that wants the cookie on the counter top will solve the problem themselves by finding a chair to climb up on.  Adults are no different.

It may be hard to listen for potential if you are under a time frame or if you are personally attached to the situation.  However, there is “clarity of distance” as Rock calls it.   When we back away we are able to see things more clearly.  The forest for the trees, if you will.   We can get lost in detail, misguided by our own agendas and filters.  I know many people who say they are active listeners.  This may be true, but are they listening for potential?

When Listening for Potential, you are positioning yourself and the person you are speaking with for success.  Success that the person will find the solution for themselves with a bit of guidance and support from you.  You don’ have to have all the answers, and shouldn’t.  As a leader you are helping people to grow.

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Transforming Performance – The Six Steps That Can Help

April 14, 2010 By Leave a Comment

I have been reading David Rock’s book on “Quiet Leadership, Six Steps to Transforming Performance at Work”.  This book is all about improving someone’s ability to think better and thus perform better.  For anyone that manages people this book is for you!  Here are the six steps:

  1. Think about Thinking
  2. Listen for Potential
  3. Speak with Intent
  4. Dance Toward Insight
  5. Create New Thinking
  6. Follow Up

As I read more about the brain and use the findings in my own coaching practice I am amazed at how logical and acceptable the steps above really are.

For the next five postings I will share my insights with you on how these six steps are presented and how you can use them to become a better manager, thinker, problem solver, mentor and person.

A few things to share going into this topic is knowing that our minds are orderly and we attempt to find order in everything we do.  We have a wealth of information stored in our brains.  Some is in short term or active  memory and some in long term memory.  Our past has influence on the way we think and no two people think the same way.

The first step – Think about Thinking

Utilizing this first step will help you to shift focus from problem thinking  to solution focus.  The goal with this step is to improve the way people are thinking.  Sounds like a big jump but when you break down the steps like Rock does in his book it is really quite simple.  Rather than telling a person what to do you want to help them think for themselves.  If you can’t master this technique then the other steps are really useless.  However, I believe anyone can do it!

This step is all about challenging the person to come up with their own ideas and solutions.  We hire people because of the knowledge they have and the contributions that they can make to the company.  With this being the case, we need to help them to use their brains to arrive at answers.  Each of us is unique and we all think about things differently.  This can be linked to childhood, genetics and other factors, but the important factor is knowing that everyone thinks in different ways.

Asking the right questions will unleash potential in anyone.  We don’t have to have the answer and shouldn’t. We want the other person to come up with answers for themselves.  When an idea or solution comes from the person themselves they have more buy in for making it happen.   As an example, I could tell you want to do and you would do it.  But, if I help you to come up with options  on your own, you are more excited and willing to follow through to make your idea blossom! There is actually a chemical reaction in the body which assists the person moving forward, they have ownership for their thoughts and actions.  You want to support people to come up with their own answers or to find their own sources for arriving at an answer.

When asking questions, you want to stay away from asking “why”.  This only puts the person on the defensive and allows for the stories to come about.  If you change your questioning techniques to using more “What and How” type questions you are allowing the person to think for themselves and come up with possible solutions.  The term used for this approach is “self directed learning”.     There is energy behind the insight and that energy is powerful!

I love what David said ” …a maker that points to situations when a self-directed approach is going to be useful: any time you feel yourself about to give advice or about to tell a person what you would do, or wanting to share your experience or opinion.”  This is the proper time to use the self-directed learning approach.

To sum up this step, let the other person do the thinking.  Your job is to set the stage in a manner that allows them to feel secure and supported.  Ask the right type of questions and focus on the solution not the problem.

Interested in the book?  Click on the picture above.

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Is Your Behavior Working for You or Against You?

April 13, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Are you an easy going person that gets along with everyone? Or are you the type that says what they think regardless of who they may hurt – The bull in the china shop? Are people interested when interacting with you or are they trying to get away?

We all have our own basic behavioral styles.  Some will stretch to adapt to someone that they have to work with or interact with so that the encounter goes smoothly.  Others appear to just not care.

I would ask that you take a “balcony” approach to viewing yourself.  In other words, be an observer of your own behavioral.  When you are engaged you can’t see what is happening around you.  To use an example, think of being at a party.  You are invited to a big party; everyone is conversing and enjoying themselves.  Because you are not shy, you enter and immediately go to a group of people to settle in for some fun.  You have now engaged and totally into your own world of fun.  Now let’s take a “balcony” approach to the party.  You arrive and move slower into your role.  You start by observing first and taking a read on what is happening.  From the balcony looking down on the party goers you might see the following:  The host/hostess just burned the main course, some people must not have received the invitation with the dress attire because they are in casual at a formal dinner, the main speaker just got a disturbing phone call that has made them quite upset, some people are in large groups, others are in smaller ones, some people are sitting next to the door and others flock to the middle of the room.

From your balcony you have a much more informed view of the dynamics and thus can be more adaptable.  Try using the “balcony” approach at work.   When you enter a meeting or arrive at work, what is the atmosphere like?  Are you helping to creating a constructive and productive environment or are you adding to the uncertainty by your own behavior?  Are you adaptable or do you expect everyone to adapt to your style and mode?  Depending on your title, people could be responding to you based on that title and not on who you really are.  No one is going to tell you you’re a jerk if it means they could be fired!  However, if you are a jerk wouldn’t you like someone to tell you????

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Out of Work? Networking?

April 6, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Networking is something that should be done all the time.  Whenever you are out and about or in your office, you should be keeping your network open.  However, as I coach people who are out of work I hear the same thing over and over again, ” I need to find where all my contacts are.  Or, I have to start networking”.

There are a couple of problems with this thought process.  The first being that you have let your pipeline of contacts disappear and now you are trying to reconnect.  This is always harder than when you have kept a touch point with your network all along.  The amount of time it will take you to find your contacts can be exhausting.  Plus when you do find them, what do you do?  Do you call, send a letter, send an email?  What do you say?  Think of how you feel when someone contacts you that you haven’t heard from in awhile. What is the first thing that comes to your mind?  Exactly!!!!  Not a very positive thought is it?

LinkedIn, Facebook, Plaxo and other networking sites are all wonderful ways to reconnect.  From a professional standpoint, LinkedIn and Plaxo are the best.  Facebook is being used by some, but depending on the industry, it may not be right for you.  You may want to keep Facebook for friends and family only.  Use the filters provided on the sites so that you can have more control over who can see your information.

When I  ask clients what they will say when the do reconnect with someone they tend to tell me that they will let the person know that they are out of working.  Here again is a dilemma.  How would you feel if you hadn’t heard from someone in awhile and when that person finally connects with you they let you know they are out of work.   As the receiver of this news you may feel put on the spot.  An uncomfortable place to be.  This is another reason why networking should be done all the time.  Stay in touch with people and they will not be suspicious wondering why you have just now thought to reconnect.

Once you are reconnect use your network wisely.  When job searching you want to do your homework on companies that are hiring and that are of interest to you.  Your network is the perfect place to find out more about a company.   Here is an example:

  1. You see that XYZ company has an opening
  2. You check your contacts on Linked or where ever you house your database of contacts
  3. You check to see if anyone in your contacts currently works at XYZ – if yes, then you proceed to contact them to see if they know of the opening or who in the company would be best suited for you to contact and inquire more about the job.
  4. If no one works at XYZ in your contact list, you can still contact these people and ask them if they know of someone who may know someone at XYZ.

The difference in this approach vs. telling all your contacts that you are out of work is that you are doing your own foot work.  You are investigating possible solutions to your problem of finding work on your own and not expecting or hoping that someone will solve the problem for you.

People want to help other people.   When you approach someone in the manner stated above they are much more likely to engage with you and keep an eye open for opportunities rather than run and hide when they see you coming.

Out of work?  Networking?  You should be, just remember… networking should be done all the time.  And when you find your next job, don’t let your network fall apart.  Someone may be contacting you and asking if you know someone at XYZ company!

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If You Think Change is Happening Quickly Now… Wait

April 4, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Listening to the guest speaker address a group of employees at their annual conference  two things that stood out to me.  1)  change is happening faster now than ever before and 2)  change will continue to happen faster and faster in the future.

I recall as recent as 5 years ago when a change in a company was discussed you knew that nothing would happen over night.  You went about your daily tasks until the next month Town Hall Meeting where an update would be given and a new time line for when the change would take place.  It seemed that there was always a wait while someone received word back from someone else.  Or, the proposed equipment change was delayed because of manufacturing or shipping.  With this type of movement you were eased into change.

Change is happening faster and faster and will continue to move at rapid rates.  We are now connected to anyone we want to be, need to be or have to be by technology.  I know for myself, I talk to my son on SKYPE almost daily.  I have a coaching partner in Australia where we interact either with SKYPE of another interface like VYEW where we can share our slide decks, whiteboards or documents for editing.  What would have taken longer via snail mail was quicken by using email and now more so my virtual collaboration media.

For those people who don’t like change or resist change the mere knowledge that change is happening more rapidly can send them into a state of panic or stress.  If you work with people who stress easily over change you may want to take small steps now to help them adapt.  Some things that may help are:

  1. have them sign up for one of the social media sites
  2. upgrade their cellular phone to the newer smart phones
  3. have them step outside their current comfort zone in an area now before change takes place
  4. assure them of where their support systems
  5. have them change one small routine each week/day.  Perhaps turn on their computer and then get coffee or try a different restaurant for lunch
  6. have them take a new way home or to work one day a week

We all know change is inevitable and the way we deal with change has a dramatic impact on how well we will adapt and move forward.

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