At some point and time I always end up having a discuss with my clients that have been laid off  about their old “friends”.  When we are working day-to-day with someone they naturally become our extended family.  We have morning coffee with them, go on breaks with them, eat lunch with them and tell them what t.v. shows we will be watching that night.  As time goes on we find ourselves telling them things that we would tell our best friends.  We share family stories and invite them to our children’s  birthday parties.  We always know we have a party to go to around the holidays.

Ah, but then the day comes when through no fault of your own, you are let go from the company.  The old friends you shared so much with stop calling.  You are not invited to the parties and your phone calls are not returned promptly.  What happened?  Could it be that these work friends have found other people to full your role?

Actually, what brought you together is the same thing that has broken you apart.  When we are working side by side with someone for days, months and years on end, we form a social order with the person.  We are bound by the commonality of the job, company and sharing of the same personal interactions.  Utility is another way to describe this interaction.  You both needed something from the company, from the interaction and from each other.  At the time, you received what you needed.

The hurtful part for some people is when the separation happens and the friendship ends.  Many take it personally when they should not.  A question I ask of my client’s is this… ” If you met this person(s) outside of the work environment, would you want them to be your friend?”  If the answer is yes and then chances are you will both keep up the relationship after you have left the common work space.  If you answer no or not really, chances are neither of  you will make the effort to continue on with the relationship with the same force and frequency that you did when you worked together.

We are a social species.  We need interaction in order to be fulfilled.  When a person looses their job there is much more going on then the mere lost of work friendships.  However, when the people we associated with for so many hours are no longer a daily part of our life, it is also normal to feel a loss.

If you have experienced the lost of work friendships,  I would like to hear from you.  If you are the worker that remains and you are no longer in contact with the work “friends” you had, I would like to hear from.  Please share your thoughts.