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Dance Toward Insight – Step 4

April 23, 2010 By Leave a Comment

I often tell my students that “learning never stops and never stop learning”.  This is what step 4, Dance Toward Insight is all about.  There are basic elements that if used, can help people arrive at insights without you telling them what to do and as we know, when an idea comes from us we are more likely to have buy in.   If the conversations we are having with people are succinct, and with intent and we use the pattern of :  gaining permission, properly placing our words within the discussion and use clarifying statements to ensure the meaning is understood then the chance of having someone gain insight on their own is increased. 

As a leader you are responsible for leading people, but that does not mean that you are to do the thinking for them.  If you lead with intent then you will also be training or developing your followers to become better thinkers.  The Four Faces of Insight is a great way to observe what is happening to a person as you have a discussion with them. You can see what they are thinking  by their facial expressions.   David Rock states that he secured a grant so  he could study what was going on in the brain when he was coaching someone. During his research he found that people make similar facial expressions when they are in various states of mind.  These facial expressions are depicted in The Four Face of Insight.  As humans we are always trying to find commonalities or patterns.  When we are presented with a problem for example, our brains begin to look for a solution and this is done by looking for some awareness.

The facial expressions that you may see when you first present a problem to someone is a look of confusion or of being aware that a dilemma exists.  As the mind works to process this new information the face depicts a look of reflection or thought.  When the “aha” moment comes the facial expression is one o insight and illumination, think wide eyes and smiles perhaps with head nodding.  At this point the person will move into motivation which is smile and content look of eagerness at having solved a dilemma and reaching insight.

As a leader you want to see these four facial patterns depicted.  When you do you know you are asking the right questions and providing the right details for the person to “Dance Toward Insight”.

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Quiet Leaders Listen for Potential – Step 2

April 16, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Step Two – Listen for Potential (Quiet Leadership – David Rock)

This step is recognizing that people have their own agendas or filters that they view life through.  These may be based on their upbringing, their experiences, their education, etc.  Regardless we tend to give advice to others based on these filters.   We also need to recognize that perspective plays a big role in influencing thoughts.  David Rock provides an example of a young girl who is thinking about changing her career.   She is addressing friends and family who each have their own experiences, filters, perspectives and agendas.  So in this case the parents are looking at the problem as parents, the doctor from the view-point of health, the psychologist from his view etc.  The point being that no one thought to view the situation from the girl’s point of view.  They were not “Listening for Potential”.  They all made the assumption that she needed help or that she had a problem.

When we are listening to someone our brains are working at finding order.  Since we have memories we tend to predict what will happen next.  This predictive state involves our neurons sending signals alerting the brain in advance of actually receiving the data input.   When we receive the data it is compared to what we anticipated happening.  This is the primary function of the neocortex or our higher level thinking.  What this means in this example is that when we listen to people we listen in a manner that proves our existing theories about that person.

Let’s say you have an employee that you believe is a low performer based on an experience you had with that employee.  Going forward you will have predict the outcome of a conversation before it is even finished.  You are not listening for the potential in the conversation, but you are allowing your predictive mind to guide your thoughts.

When you change or become aware of your own listening habits you can make the shift to listen for potential in that person believing that the person has the capability to answer their own questions.  As a Quiet Leader you are developing a better to listen, one that encourages, supports and see the best in people.

When I was reading this chapter I thought a lot about how we treat little children.  As they grow and develop we don’t solve every problem for them.  We support their intellectual growth by allowing them to experiment and come up with solutions on their own.  A child that wants the cookie on the counter top will solve the problem themselves by finding a chair to climb up on.  Adults are no different.

It may be hard to listen for potential if you are under a time frame or if you are personally attached to the situation.  However, there is “clarity of distance” as Rock calls it.   When we back away we are able to see things more clearly.  The forest for the trees, if you will.   We can get lost in detail, misguided by our own agendas and filters.  I know many people who say they are active listeners.  This may be true, but are they listening for potential?

When Listening for Potential, you are positioning yourself and the person you are speaking with for success.  Success that the person will find the solution for themselves with a bit of guidance and support from you.  You don’ have to have all the answers, and shouldn’t.  As a leader you are helping people to grow.

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Transforming Performance – The Six Steps That Can Help

April 14, 2010 By Leave a Comment

I have been reading David Rock’s book on “Quiet Leadership, Six Steps to Transforming Performance at Work”.  This book is all about improving someone’s ability to think better and thus perform better.  For anyone that manages people this book is for you!  Here are the six steps:

  1. Think about Thinking
  2. Listen for Potential
  3. Speak with Intent
  4. Dance Toward Insight
  5. Create New Thinking
  6. Follow Up

As I read more about the brain and use the findings in my own coaching practice I am amazed at how logical and acceptable the steps above really are.

For the next five postings I will share my insights with you on how these six steps are presented and how you can use them to become a better manager, thinker, problem solver, mentor and person.

A few things to share going into this topic is knowing that our minds are orderly and we attempt to find order in everything we do.  We have a wealth of information stored in our brains.  Some is in short term or active  memory and some in long term memory.  Our past has influence on the way we think and no two people think the same way.

The first step – Think about Thinking

Utilizing this first step will help you to shift focus from problem thinking  to solution focus.  The goal with this step is to improve the way people are thinking.  Sounds like a big jump but when you break down the steps like Rock does in his book it is really quite simple.  Rather than telling a person what to do you want to help them think for themselves.  If you can’t master this technique then the other steps are really useless.  However, I believe anyone can do it!

This step is all about challenging the person to come up with their own ideas and solutions.  We hire people because of the knowledge they have and the contributions that they can make to the company.  With this being the case, we need to help them to use their brains to arrive at answers.  Each of us is unique and we all think about things differently.  This can be linked to childhood, genetics and other factors, but the important factor is knowing that everyone thinks in different ways.

Asking the right questions will unleash potential in anyone.  We don’t have to have the answer and shouldn’t. We want the other person to come up with answers for themselves.  When an idea or solution comes from the person themselves they have more buy in for making it happen.   As an example, I could tell you want to do and you would do it.  But, if I help you to come up with options  on your own, you are more excited and willing to follow through to make your idea blossom! There is actually a chemical reaction in the body which assists the person moving forward, they have ownership for their thoughts and actions.  You want to support people to come up with their own answers or to find their own sources for arriving at an answer.

When asking questions, you want to stay away from asking “why”.  This only puts the person on the defensive and allows for the stories to come about.  If you change your questioning techniques to using more “What and How” type questions you are allowing the person to think for themselves and come up with possible solutions.  The term used for this approach is “self directed learning”.     There is energy behind the insight and that energy is powerful!

I love what David said ” …a maker that points to situations when a self-directed approach is going to be useful: any time you feel yourself about to give advice or about to tell a person what you would do, or wanting to share your experience or opinion.”  This is the proper time to use the self-directed learning approach.

To sum up this step, let the other person do the thinking.  Your job is to set the stage in a manner that allows them to feel secure and supported.  Ask the right type of questions and focus on the solution not the problem.

Interested in the book?  Click on the picture above.

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